Saturday, May 25, 2013

What If?

He saved my life.
Then he sent flowers.
Called.
Wrote.
Visited my hospital room.
But I can't talk to him.
I said he triggered horrific flashbacks.
I might have lied.
For my fiancé?

Posted by at

12 comments:

  1. k~May 25, 2013 at 3:52 AM

    The question mark at the end throws me off a little bit. The rest of the words move smoothly through the emotion, and are very clear to me. Is the last line supposed to indicate it might not have been for the character's fiance', but rather for herself?

    I like the premise you built this from. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Faith CohenMay 25, 2013 at 12:00 PM

      Yes, that is the purpose of the "?". Thanks for your comment. :-)

      Delete
  2. Vivian DeloresMay 25, 2013 at 7:43 AM

    I can relate 100%. Great piece!

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  3. Lane SmithMay 25, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    Interesting and complex... this is a great use of 33 words!

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  4. barbaraMay 25, 2013 at 1:41 PM

    oooh, YOU, you have opened a sort of Pandora's box with this. Intriguing.

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  5. Ann BennettMay 25, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    I say dump the fiance if he can't handle your admiration of the person who rescued you. Good job.

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  6. JannaTWritesMay 25, 2013 at 3:38 PM

    Impressive...you told a complicated story in just 33-words. My mind is going through a dozen more 'what ifs' and 'I wonders' now :)

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  7. DraugMay 25, 2013 at 10:24 PM

    I want to know where the fiance has been while the other guy is bringing flowers.

    Great piece!

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  8. AnonymousMay 26, 2013 at 5:34 PM

    Great prompt!

    So... I'm holding my breath... What's happening next???

    ReplyDelete
  9. kymmMay 27, 2013 at 5:25 AM

    Very cool. When things get complicated...

    ReplyDelete

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